Do you think Matt ever knew he had a sister?

“Do you think Matt ever knew he had a sister? A big sister, like me?“ Pineapple asked yesterday.

She is very excited and proud that in 16 days she will be five-and-a-half. Because her birthday is so close to Christmas we always thought we would make a little something of the halfway mark for her. This year, as her birthday fell around your due date, it was hard. We made sure she had a great time, but still, not an easy celebration. So the half year mark has perhaps become more important to me too. The countdown to the date has been fun.

“Well, I am sure he heard you. He would have known your voice.”

She seemed to like that idea, and smiled at the thought.

Hoshi, Sitara, Astra and Star. We gave these names (all meaning star) to the four other babies that were not born. They all were miscarried one after another when they were really tiny, even before Pineapple was born. We thought star was a great name for this foursome, as perhaps miscarried babies become stars. We called you Matt, by the way, as you were a complete gift to us, and you came and went, out of the blue.

Hoshi, Sitara, Astra, Star and Matt: if you can, please look after the little unborn one, 16 weeks tomorrow. And of course, please watch out for your sister Pineapple, who is now so nearly five-and-a-half. Sometimes I am amazed that she managed to be born at all – but so thankful.